Smokey Mountains National Park, TN

It is just breathtaking . . . God's country for sure. Getting ready to paddle Chilhowee Lake (thought to mean "king fisher" in the Cherokee language). The area is rich with Native American history and beauty. The Cherokee lived here for, some say, thousands of years before they were moved to Oklahoma on the "Trail of Tears" where many perished because of the mistreatment and harsh conditions. Loggers and industrialists just about ruined this great natural resource. I can't help but think that if we had left the original inhabitants alone, the Smokeys would probably look just as they did thousands of years ago. Thankfully, you can still behold the beauty that they must have enjoyed and cherished.

Paddle and Biking Report: Montgomery Bell State Park, Dickson County, TN

This is a great Tennessee State Park! It has three lakes that are a nice change of pace from the river kayaking that I have been doing. I got out on the lake early and it was quiet and peaceful. I saw geese, blue heron, huge turtles, extremely large fish in the ultra clear water, and two deer. The leaves are starting to change and the scenery was beautiful! The lakes a little smaller and I paddled across and around several times just to get a good workout only because I'm used to a little more challenging paddles, but is a great place to relax and enjoy all of the natural surroundings. Wildlife abounds!

The park also offers miles of bike trails that are extra challenging for a person from Indiana where everything is relatively flat. The hills and the terrain give you everything you need to challenge a biker. My bike is a hybrid and I can see where a mountain bike would be preferred for this terrain. It can be a little rocky and rugged at times. I am a little sore today from the uphill peddling. The nice thing is that there are plenty of downhill parts of the roads and trails.

Camping is also very affordable--just 11 dollars per night for primitive camping. I stayed two nights and there is plenty to do here. If you bike, boat, or fish this park offers a lot.

Living in a Material World

There is a story in the Bible of a rich young ruler who tells Jesus that he wants to follow Him. Here is what Jesus says in response to him: “When Jesus heard this, he said to him, ‘You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’ When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was a man of great wealth.” (Luke 18:22-23) Why did the young ruler see this as a losing proposition? It is because we place such a high value on status and what gives us status. If the ruler were to give away all of his wealth he would be giving away his power in this world—his fame, his identity, and the respect of his peers and subordinates. If he gave it all away he would be on the same level as all of the common folks that he ruled over. That was the point that Jesus made to him that day. You really value the things in your life more than you realize. If Jesus himself was right in front of you could you surrender all that you own to follow him? It would be hard, right? We hold on to things in this life so hard that we can’t even imagine life without our stuff. Corey Ten Boom says, “Don’t hold on to things of this life too tightly, because it hurts when God has to peel your fingers off.” Often times we want the things we can’t have or hold on to the things we do have too tightly. Either way it can make you crazy.

There was an Amish gentleman giving a tour of Amish life and sites while riding a bus with a bunch of Pennsylvania tourists. One of the tourists had a question, “What is the main difference between the Amish and everyone else in this country?” The Amish man thought about it and then asked, “how many of you own a TV?” Everyone but the Amish man’s hand went up. He then asked, “How many of you think that it is having a negative effect on your family?” Again, everyones hand when up. The Amish man then asked, “How many would be willing to get rid of the TV? No hands went up! The Amish man said, “That is the difference between popular society and the Amish.”

The secret to Joy may start with holding onto things of this life a little more loosely. How is that done? Just trust God to meet your needs and give the rest to Him. It is simple, maybe too simple to comprehend. It also defies the momentum of our culture. I remember the happiest times in my life and they were times when I had literally nothing materially. No money, no fame, no home, but I had love. Love of the Father, love of my wife, and love of my children. The happiest? How is that possible? The more you have, the more you worry about what you have and how to keep it and maintain it. Having a car brings stress. Having a home brings stress. Having a job that allows you to keep all of the things you are collecting brings stress. Especially if you hate what you are doing in order to keep your life from flat lining. Some of us get to a place and we look around and wonder how we got there. How and when did I get so far off the track? Your dreams seem like a distant memory and life becomes a daily struggle. There is an answer to this but it is a radical concept; giving it all to God. Lord, take my home, take my life, and yes, even take my children. They were His all along anyway. Just surrender the care, the concern, the stress, and the worry to the one who is well equipped to handle it all. The Word of God promises to take care of all of the rest. After all, Depression is worrying about the past and Anxiety is worrying about the future. The trick is losing the worry.

Healing Depression: A Few Things That I Have Learned

I feel uniquely qualified to discuss this issue because I am one who has suffered for years with depression. At first, I thought that I could snap myself out of it or just convince myself that things aren't as I perceived them to be. Then weeks, months, and years went by and I never felt quite right. I would go to work most days feeling exhausted and come home and sit around with no energy to even do anything. My sadness was exhausting me to the point that I couldn't see living another 40 years like this. I told myself that it would only get worse! I would get old, my parents would die, I would lose even more money, and I would be even more depressed. The thought of that just made me think of ending it—it got pretty bad. I even thought of ways to do it so that it would look like an accident so that my family could still get the insurance money. Why was I like this? How did it get this bad?

I think my depression was mostly situational. I understand that there are folks who have an imbalance of chemicals in their brain that just will not allow them to be happy. This advice is for the other folks who find themselves in a situation of complete despair and see no way out of their darkness. I was wanting to provide such a wonderful life for my family. My heart's desire was to see them happy and fulfill their every need. I bought into the “American Dream” idea and thought that if I worked hard enough and did everything right I would be as successful as some of my older friends who had nice homes, cars, and security. They seemed happy enough as well. I worked hard to become a jeweler—it didn't work out to my expectations and my eyes started failing me. I worked hard to become an educator—I worked for a tyrant and narcissist who forced me to give up on teaching, or at least pushed me over the edge when I experienced the disillusionment that most teachers experience when they have been teaching a while. I worked for an alternative school and was crushed by the stress and the feeling that I wasn't doing enough to support my family or enough to impact the troubled students that I was trying to serve. I found myself lost, financially struggling, and in a career crisis as well as a mid-life crisis. On top of that I was dealing with several health related issues that limited my activity. I was desperate for relief! 

I started looking for a solution to my sadness and sought the conventional avenues. I went to my doctor who prescribed anti-depression drugs. I took the drugs and felt better but didn't like the side effects. I went to counselors and felt like they were just overwhelmed with their workload and uninterested in solving my problems. I was watching my family getting upset with me because I wouldn't “snap out of it.”

I know that many reading this can relate to this feeling. Despair, hopelessness, loneliness, anxiety, fatigue, self-doubt, self-destructive thoughts and behavior, were all so familiar that I had forgotten what joy and feeling happy was like. On top of all of it all, I felt like I was letting God down and that my faith was so small that I couldn't see the point in praying or even seeking God anymore. When I did pray it was just a moaning call out to God to take me. Sorrow was like a plastic bag that was slowly removing the oxygen. I began to think about prayer a lot. I started thinking about what prayer is and what it isn't. First, what is prayer? I was always afraid to pray in front of people because so many people whom I knew were so good at it. They could beautifully convey their thoughts out loud to God and it was impressive how they could speak for everyone in such an eloquent manner. It seemed like the times that I would pray were clumsy and disjointed ramblings. It wasn't until I opened a real dialogue with God that I learned that prayer not so much about communication with those who I am praying with but it is all about Who I am praying to! I came across a quote from the author Ted Loder:

"How shall I pray? Are tears prayers, Lord? Are screams prayers, or groans or sighs or curses? Will you accept my prayers, Lord, my real prayers, rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life, and not just the pretty, cut-flower, gracefully arranged bouquet of words? Will you accept me, Lord, as I really am, messed up mixture of glory and grime?"

This is truly how I feel about prayer. It can take on many forms. A song sung, enjoying nature and creation, a cry of sadness, a praise when you look into the face of your newborn baby or your wife at the alter on your wedding day. Prayer is built into our DNA and recognizing this fact changed the way that I looked at prayer and its purpose. I started being thankful for what I have and cherishing each moment--that seemed to help adjust my attitude and outlook. I think being outdoors more definitely helps me to cope with stress. I have found that being in nature and away from the hustle and noise is great place to meditate and refocus. My way to do that is getting out on the water among other things : )

Paddle Report: Kayaking the Mississippi River, Memphis

This was a fun paddle because of the people that I met as well as the scenery. First I biked around Harbor Town. It is a little peninsula that shoots out from the downtown area of Memphis. It is surrounded by the Mississipi River on one side and the Wolf River Lagoon on the other side. It is topped off by the Wolf River that joins the Mississippi on the north side of Harbor Town. There is a Mud River Dock that is past the gates of the Mud River Park on the south end of Harbor Town. There is a nice gentleman at the boat house who gives you permission to put in the lagoon harbor.  He even let me keep my Kayak Caddy at the boat house. It is a long ramp down and I had to walk my Kayak a few hundred feet. So glad that I got one of those (Kayak Caddies) with the inflatable tires. It goes over rough terrain really well! The cart is essential for some of the more scenic waterways of the South because the public ramps are steep and long. It was 50 bucks at the Sports Authority. It is made by Coleman and it folds up nice and stores under my seat in the van.

The paddle was great! The weather was amazing the day that I went. The Mississippi was a little swift and I didn't paddle all the way up to the Wolf River like I had planned. I floated back down stream and then up the lagoon and met another kayaker named Kenny. Super nice guy and we talked kayaks and the history of Memphis and the Mississippi flood stage several years ago. I've included a shot of my kayak cart and some shots of the River and Lagoon in Memphis.

Today, I Choose Joy!

Mistakes to avoid: remorse over yesterday's failures, anxiety over today's problems, worry over tomorrow's uncertainty, waste of the moment's opportunity, procrastination with one's present duty, resentment of another's success, criticism of a neighbor's imperfection, impatience with youth's immaturity, skepticism of our nation's future, and unbelief in God's providence. --William Ward

I tend to worry a lot but my worry is nothing compared to the way that my wife worries about things. For years she would get so worked up about every little thing that it even affected her health. I am a bad one to be married to if you are a worrier. I am an artist, musician, and writer, and have had several jobs over the years and there hasn’t been a real sense of security in my occupation or income. My average salary was enough to qualify for free lunch at school, and on top of all that, I was a student for a quarter of our married life. There were times when I felt that we were living the dream, but many more years where it felt like we were falling apart and it was hard to get out of bed in the morning. A very wise pastor told me once that, “being grateful is almost indistinguishable from joy.” I think that being thankful for what you have will bring joy. This same wise pastor told me that “joy and happiness are not the same thing.” You can have joy in the midst of any circumstance, but we see happiness as a goal in our culture. The “pursuit of happiness” is all a part of that formula that we create in our minds of how things need to be in order to experience happiness. We can actually choose Joy! Joy is not a thing that requires a prerequisite. You don’t have to be rich, strong, pretty, or famous to experience it, yet it eludes so many of us. We look around us and convince ourselves that we don’t have the “good life” because what we have doesn’t match someone else’s. The old “keeping up with the Jones’” idea is a tired expression that is an exhausting pursuit if that becomes your focus and your goal. As mentioned earlier and is worth repeating—depression is worrying about the past and anxiety is worrying about the future. The key is not to worry—why are we so prone to worry about everything?

Paddle Report: Kayaking Lake Cumberland Kentucky

My mother has a place in Russell Springs, Kentucky so it was a no-brainer. I wanted to get down on the water since the first time I visited this amazing man made lake. In the 1950s they dammed up the Cumberland River and it filled the valley and created one of the most amazing man-made lakes on the planet. There are two nice boat launches that are free of charge in Cumberland State Park (Kentucky has some of the best state parks!) There is no charge for entrance into the park and no special permits to put in the lake.

I paddled from the first boat launch all the way past the docks to the other side of the lake at one of its widest parts. I'm not sure how many miles I paddled today but with 1,200 miles of shoreline I just saw a sampling of this giant. I explored several of the bayous and creeks that shoot off of the lake. The natural beauty is breath-taking. There were these five eagles that followed me around for a while and I saw some wild turkey on the shoreline.